Book review: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing

Why I’m speaking about this book

I have read dozens of books on trauma, this is in my top 10. I was skeptical to read a book written by a celebrity but I pushed that aside and I am glad I did. I found a well written, highly accessible book that was grounded in science and research. I was pleasantly surprised to find new insights and learnings I had not found elsewhere. It was easy to read, even when not in a particularly good state of mind.

You can purchase the book here.

Brief summary of the book

The book follows an interview format with Oprah interviewing Dr Bruce Perry, a psychiatrist, currently the senior fellow of the Child Trauma Academy.

The book is for “Anyone with labels like ‘people pleaser’, ‘self-sabotager’, ‘disruptive’, ‘argumentative’, ‘checked out’, ‘can’t hold a job’, ‘bad at relationships’ or if you want to better understand others.

The book covers the basics of how trauma affects and impacts our daily lives in subtle ways how the long term impact of trauma on the body “remaining in a constant state of high alert can have devastating effects on your overall physical and emotional health”. It explains why some people get symptoms of post traumatic stress and others do not and shares with us, forgotten systems of healing. Finally, hope and how our trauma can be transformed into post-traumatic growth.

Most important parts of the books

So how you were loved is much more complex than simply saying, “You weren’t handled with affection as a child; therefore, you will be sad.” What you’re really saying is that if you were treated aggressively, or if there was chaotic or neglectful caregiving, or if you weren’t held as a child, your brain could be biologically affected”

Trauma has been hard for the academic world to define and therefore understand in its full scope. Part of the challenge is that “bad events” are subjective”. Consider an elementary child who witnesses a classroom set on fire, they will experience intense confusion, fear and helplessness. A fireman who encounters the same experience does so every day, they know how to manage and handle the situation and as such their system will not become overwhelmed. They may experience a mild-stress response and return to baseline quickly and therefore not experience long-last effects. For the elementary child their stress responses was much higher and long-lasting - they will therefore develop a sensitised stress-response system.

The sooner your body can return to baseline, the less likely it will be to experience the long-lasting effects of trauma.

Two people, same experience, different effects.

One of the new major findings in the field of trauma is connectedness. Connectedness to your community, family and culture is more of a predictor of mental health than your history of adversity — our community and connection can help us return to baseline an a state of regulation. Without learning to connect to others, we cannot learn to heal.

“I believe that if you don’t recognize the built-in biases in yourself and the structural biases in your systems — biases regarding race, gender, sexual orientation — you can’t truly be trauma-informed. Marginalized peoples — excluded, minimized, shamed — are traumatized peoples, because as we’ve discussed, humans are fundamentally relational creatures. To be excluded or dehumanized in an organization, community, or society you are part of results in prolonged, uncontrollable stress that is sensitizing. Marginalization is a fundamental trauma. This is why I believe that a truly trauma-informed system is an anti-racist system.” — Oprah Winfrey

Round up the book with a review score

4.5 out of 5. It is not groundbreaking but makes information highly accessible, it is easy to relate to and easy to read. It covers all the bases, from the science to the experience, to the healing.

Other books on trauma might have a lot more information but they are also extremely dense and hard to read, often geared towards therapists.

Please feel free to add comments and questions and if you read it let me know in the comments below!

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